Dr. Rachel Goldman

Guest Profile

NYU Psychologist: Manage Stress, Reset Your Nervous System & Build Confidence

Dr. Rachel Goldman

Licensed Clinical Psychologist · Clinical Assistant Professor of Psychiatry, NYU Grossman School of Medicine · Author of When Life Happens
Specialist in CBT, stress management & health behavior change · Private practice in New York City

Stress Response Nervous System Burnout CBT Wearables & Data Imposter Syndrome

About Dr. Rachel

Dr. Rachel Goldman is a licensed clinical psychologist, clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at NYU Grossman School of Medicine, and author of When Life Happens. She specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), stress management, and health behavior change, and runs a private practice in New York City. She has shared the stage with Oprah, appeared on the TODAY show and The Mel Robbins Podcast, and has been featured in The New York Times, TIME, CNN, and Women's Health.

Her approach was shaped by five and a half years in a hospital bariatric surgery program, where she saw thousands of patients and heard the same sentence again and again: "I know what I should do. But I just can't do it. What is wrong with me?" She noticed that the patients who changed weren't the ones who overhauled their lives. They were the ones who made one small tweak, came back saying "I don't know what changed, but something changed," and built confidence from there. That observation became her method: no overhauls, no perfection, just small, honest tweaks and the science behind why they work. She is also a runner and a mom of two, navigating the same challenges she helps her clients with.

Peakspan Podcast Episode 09: Manage Stress, Reset Your Nervous System & Build Confidence, with Dr. Rachel Goldman
EPISODE 09 Listen to the full episode
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What You'll Learn

Ten-year forecast. Why how you respond to stress, not the stressor itself, may predict your health a decade later.
Reaction tax. Why the pause between impulse and action is where mental fitness is built.
Data trap. When your sleep score starts deciding how you feel before you even get out of bed.
Depletion gap. Why high achievers are often the last to notice they are running on empty.
Imposter advantage. Why feeling like an imposter might actually be a good sign.
Nervous system reset. How one intentional breath can bring your stress response back toward baseline.

Key Takeaways

1
Stress isn't the problem. Your reaction is. Stress is a natural response to a threat; the body knows how to handle it and returns to baseline within about 20 minutes, she says. The problem is staying in fight-or-flight too long. Citing a Penn State study, she points out that it was the way people responded to stress, not the stressor itself, that predicted their health a decade later.
2
Respond, don't react. Reacting is the impulsive act: the tantrum, internal or external. Responding starts with a pause and a breath that physiologically lowers everything, then the question: "What do I really need right now? What's my body telling me?" "If we don't do that pause, we're actually just like children."
3
Tweak, don't change. "Change" and "should" are overwhelming words that imply something is wrong with you. A tweak (one more sip of water) feels so doable that people actually do it, and that's where confidence is built. "People think they have to overhaul their whole life in order to start seeing change."
4
Words matter: "I'm experiencing stress," not "I'm so stressed." CBT tells us thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are linked. Saying "I'm experiencing stress" separates you from it and puts you back in control. Same reason she says "full" instead of "busy." Name it to tame it, then add: "And what can I do about it now?"
5
Slowing down will feel wrong. That's the feedback loop, not a warning. Brains crave familiarity. If you've been go-go-go for years, a pause puts your brain on high alert. It can be rewired with consistency and repetition, but the discomfort is expected, not a sign to stop.
6
Data is only useful if you use it, not if it uses you. Clients feel fine until the scale gives them a number; you think you slept well until your ring says otherwise. "Two minutes ago, maybe you weren't tired... until the data told you that you were." She wears a Garmin to run and checks nothing but mileage. "We actually know ourselves best."
7
Sleeping in won't cure burnout. Depleted is not the same as tired. High-functioning type A women are prone to burnout, she says, and a weekend of nothing won't fix it. What helps is the hardest thing for exactly those people: small pauses integrated into the day, every day. Do that consistently and "in a few days you're gonna feel different."
8
When life gets busy, self-care is the first thing to go, and the last thing you should drop. Her definition of self-care is anything you do for yourself: eating, walking, breathing, sleeping. Shrink it, don't skip it: a 10-minute walk instead of 20. Nobody has ever said "I was so stressed, I didn't brush my teeth." Make the basics that automatic.
9
Imposter syndrome is information, not a verdict. Her graduate-school professor's line: "The day that you don't have imposter syndrome is the day that you should retire." Treat it as good stress (eustress) that makes you prepare more. "If you were asked, you belong there."
10
Build a toolbox of three, and one should be internal. One tool may not work, one may not be available. At least one should need nothing and nobody (for her: the breath). Hers are movement, breathing, and talking it through. Yours have to be things you'll actually do.
11
Life happening isn't the interruption to the plan. It is the plan. Controlling every aspect makes you more stressed and more disappointed. Accept what's out of your control, then focus on what's in it: "There's always going to be things out of our control, and there's always things in my control." Start with a low-stakes exposure: let someone else put the dishes away.
"It was not the stressor itself, but it was the way that we respond to stress that actually predicts people's health a decade later."
"Sleeping in one day is not going to cure burnout. A weekend of doing nothing is not going to cure the burnout."
"With so much data and optimization out there, what people are forgetting is that we actually know ourselves best."

Episode Chapters

03:25Thousands of Patients, One Sentence: "I Know What I Should Do, But I Can't"▾
  • Five and a half years in a hospital bariatric surgery program and the pattern that became the book.
  • Patients who made one tiny tweak came back saying "I don't know what changed, but something changed." The ripple effect that builds confidence.
  • Why "tweak" beats "change": "There's two powerful words there, should and change."
07:01Stress Isn't the Problem: The Penn State Study and Respond vs. React▾
  • Fight-or-flight is natural; the body returns to baseline in about 20 minutes. The problem is staying there: chronic stress.
  • The study: how you respond to stress predicts your health a decade later. "I don't say that to scare people."
  • Reacting is the tantrum. Responding starts with a breath. "What do I really need right now?"
11:54Words Matter: "I'm So Stressed" vs. "I'm Experiencing Stress"▾
  • CBT in one line: thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are linked. Say the sentence and notice how it feels.
  • Why she says "full" instead of "busy."
  • Name it to tame it, without toxic positivity. Then: "And what can I do about it now?"
14:45Control: Sitting in the Feeling vs. Focusing on What's Yours▾
  • Alexandra asks: what about getting comfortable with not being in control?
  • It's okay to sit in it, cry, vent, sleep, "and then what are we going to do about it?"
16:26The Type A Nervous System: Why Slowing Down Feels Wrong▾
  • Brains crave familiarity. Go from go-go-go to a pause and your brain thinks something is wrong.
  • Rewiring takes consistency and repetition. The discomfort is the feedback loop, not a warning.
  • Sophie on founders who grew up in high-pressure homes; Dr. Rachel on why she sees both extremes, and the role of nature, nurture, and ADHD.
21:48The Data Trap: When Your Ring Decides How You Feel▾
  • "To be honest, I think it's all too much." Optimization becomes pressure.
  • The scale experiment: feeling great, step on, feel horrible. "What changed?"
  • Her Garmin: mileage only. "We're losing sight of the basics": food, hydration, movement, stress, sleep.
27:00Tired or Depleted? Sophie's "Exceptional" Ring Score and Why Sleep Won't Cure Burnout▾
  • Recovery score at its highest, waking up depleted every day.
  • High-functioning type A women are prone to burnout, she says. A weekend off won't fix it; small daily pauses will.
  • Two anchors to start: a breath before you grab your phone in the morning, and before bed. "In a few days you're gonna feel different."
32:11Why We Throw It All Out the Window: Self-Care During Busy Seasons▾
  • Self-care = anything you do for yourself. It's the first thing to go because we think it's the only thing we can let go of.
  • Her half-marathon training during the book tour, the thing that kept her from burning out.
  • The toothbrush test: nobody says "I was so stressed, I didn't brush my teeth." Make the basics that automatic. Shrink them, don't skip them.
  • "Healthy selfishness": why being selfish about your health makes you more present for everyone else.
40:24The Imposter Advantage and What Oprah Said Backstage▾
  • "The day that you don't have imposter syndrome is the day that you should retire."
  • Good stress (eustress) and the slide deck she sent three times in 24 hours, then barely used on stage.
  • Oprah backstage: you belong here today, and you are here to give a message. What Dr. Rachel now tells everyone she's backstage with.
46:58The Stress Ladder and the Coping Toolbox of Three▾
  • Why she trains the breath when she doesn't need it: life stacks up, and resetting throughout the day means responding instead of reacting when the kids walk in.
  • Alexandra's three: nature walks, gratitude, cold plunging. Dr. Rachel's three: movement, breathing, talking it through.
  • Always three, at least one internal, and only tools you'll actually use.
53:25Loosening the Grip: Life Happening Is the Plan▾
  • Control sits on a continuum; both extremes cost you. Trying to control everything means more stress and more disappointment.
  • Pregnancy as the first time she really let go, and doing returns on the way to the hospital.
  • Exposures in psychology: start low-stakes. Let someone else put the dishes away and be okay with not knowing where they are.
  • "Life happened. What can I do about it now?" A totally different framework from feeling like a failure.
1:03:25What "Peak" Means to Dr. Rachel▾
  • "Alive, joyful... and also present. When I'm at my peak, I'm fully present, immersing myself in the experience and what I'm doing."

Disclaimers

Medical disclaimer. The information in this episode is for educational purposes only and is not medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Podcasts, social media, and books are not therapy or a substitute for professional care. Always consult a qualified healthcare professional before making decisions about your health.

Statistics and claims. Figures, research findings, and outcomes quoted are as stated by the guest in conversation and have not been independently verified by Peakspan.

At a Glance

10 years
How far ahead the way you react to everyday stress predicted people's health in the Penn State study she cites
20 min
Roughly how long your body needs to calm down after a fight-or-flight moment, she explains
3 tools
The minimum she wants everyone to have for handling stress, with at least one you can use anywhere, alone
1 breath
All it takes to start bringing your stress response back down, in her view

Her book When Life Happens: The Mindset Shift You Need to Manage Stress, Build Confidence, and Break Free was published in April 2026.

Dr. Rachel's Personal Protocol

🌬️
One Intentional Breath, Everywhere
Between every client, walking to the bathroom, cooking dinner, washing hands, before stepping on stage. "There's no harm. There's only benefit"
⏰
Two Anchors: Wake Up & Bedtime
A breathing or relaxation exercise before you grab your phone in the morning and before you go to bed: her starting point for anyone who feels depleted
🏃‍♀️
Run
She wears a Garmin to track mileage and nothing else. Kept up her half-marathon training through a book tour because it's what stopped her burning out
🗣️
Talk It Through
Her third tool: support from her husband, her mom, or a friend. Everyone needs three tools, because one may not work or be available
💬
"Full," Not "Busy"
And "I'm experiencing stress," not "I'm so stressed." Name the emotion, then add: "And what can I do about it now?"
🔧
Shrink It, Don't Skip It
In a busy season, a 10-minute walk instead of 20. Later to bed, but not much later. "Something is better than nothing"
🍽️
Low-Stakes Exposures
Practice giving up control where the stakes are low: let your partner put the dishes away. Test it and see how it feels

Research & Concepts

The Penn State Stress Study: Almeida et al., Annals of Behavioral Medicine (2012)
The research Dr. Rachel cites in the episode and in her book. Researchers phoned about 2,000 adults for eight nights about their daily stressors and moods, then followed up ten years later: people who got upset by everyday stressors and dwelt on them were more likely to report chronic health conditions a decade on. The stressors themselves weren't the predictor. The reaction was.
Read the Penn State summary ↗
Fight-or-Flight & Homeostasis
The body's natural threat response: fast heartbeat, racing mind, clammy hands. It's designed to return to baseline (homeostasis) within about 20 minutes, she says. Staying in that state is what becomes chronic stress. A deliberate pause and breath brings the physiology back down.
About the fight-or-flight response ↗
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Her specialty, and the model behind "words matter": thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are linked, so changing the thought ("I'm experiencing stress") changes the feeling and the behavior that follows.
What is CBT? (American Psychological Association) ↗
Eustress: The Good Stress
Stress that motivates: reviewing notes before a talk, studying before an exam. She frames imposter syndrome the same way: anxiety that gives you information and makes you more prepared, not a sign you don't belong.
About eustress ↗
Exposures
A core CBT technique for anxiety and fear: start with the least anxiety-provoking version, not the hardest. Her low-stakes example for control: let someone else put the dishes away and sit with not knowing where they went.
What is exposure therapy? (American Psychological Association) ↗
The Stress Ladder
Her image for how a day stacks up (the email, the call, the nurse from school) until you "blow it" at the end. Hitting the reset button throughout the day, even when you don't feel stressed, keeps you lower on the ladder when the next thing lands.
From her book When Life Happens ↗

Connect with Dr. Rachel

🧠drrachelnyc.comHer practice in New York City. Reach out to get on the wait list↗ 📖When Life Happens, the bookAll the places to buy it, in one spot↗ 💼LinkedIn: Rachel Goldman, PhD↗ 📸Instagram: @drrachelnyc↗

FAQ

Questions answered in this episode

What does Dr. Rachel Goldman say about stress and long-term health?

She describes the stress response as natural: the body returns to its baseline “within about 20 minutes or so.” Referring to a Penn State study, she explains: “it was not the stressor itself, but it was the way that we respond to stress that actually predicts people's health a decade later.” She adds: “I don't say that to scare people because we could start tweaking things today to change the way that we respond to stress.”

What does she suggest doing in a stressful moment?

She distinguishes between reacting and responding. Her suggestion: “take a breath, pause. That's gonna reset everything.” Then ask yourself: “What do I really need right now? What's my body telling me?”

What does she say about burnout and rest?

“Sleeping in one day is not going to cure burnout. Right, like a weekend of doing nothing is not going to cure the burnout.” Instead she talks about small, intentional pauses during the day. She herself takes a moment to breathe between client sessions.

How does she view sleep trackers and other health data?

She describes how data can shape how we feel: “Two minutes ago, maybe you weren't tired and you weren't thinking that you were tired until the data told you that you were.” Her point: “what people are forgetting is that we actually know ourselves best.”

How does she think about imposter syndrome?

She sees imposter syndrome as a form of anxiety, and for her, anxiety and stress are not necessarily bad: they give us information. That is why she likes what a professor told her on her first day of graduate school: “The day that you don't have imposter syndrome is the day that you should retire.” When it shows up, her reframe is: “If you were asked, you belong there.” Then she uses the anxiety to prepare, for example by reviewing her notes once more.

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